Section One: Day 1 of the devotional, Satisfied: A 90 Day Spiritual Journey Toward Food Freedom

The passage that Dr. Rhonda Epstein opens the devotional with is, to say the least, eye opening. Have you ever read this passage? I had not! Check it out:

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭7:15-25‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
https://www.bible.com/114/rom.7.15-25.nkjv

What a struggle & boy is this how I feel on a daily basis! I KNOW what I should do, yet I don’t do it. What is wrong with me? The first journal prompt is to list all of the diets I have tried and the results. Oh boy! Let’s see if I can remember them all….

Tony Little workout videos(middle school), Weight Watchers (many times – can’t remember how many), Nutrisystem, Slim Fast, Low-Carb, No-carb, Vegetarian, Jenny Craig, multiple medical doctors who prescribed phentermine & B12 shots, a variety of meal replacement shakes (gross), weight loss surgery, gym memberships (Curves, Golds, LA Fitness, YMCA), more meal replacement shakes, protein shakes, Saxenda (injectable rx ordered from the UK)…..I “think” that’s all of them. The next part of the prompt asks how much money I’ve spent….Ha….there is no way to know that….thousands!! So much time, energy and resources go into fighting my food addiction & it’s not working!

The first step is admitting that there is a problem. Check….there is a problem. Now, on to the next steps to find a way to solve the problem.

Blessings! 🦩 Amanda

I have battled my weight for as long as I can remember. Many years later and having spent more money than I can account for, I am still struggling.

The first time I remember trying to do something about my weight, I was in middle school (yes! Middle School!). I saw an infomercial staring Tony Little and his new exercise program….I decided I HAD to have it….this would be the solution to my weight problem. I was tired of being made fun of … I came home almost every day in tears and begging to go to a different school. I convinced my mom and she ordered the tapes for me. I began doing my Tony Little exercise program each day when I got home from school and into the summer break. I don’t remember how well it worked, but I was pretty consistent with it….for a while. I have tried ALL the things….let’s see if I can name them all. Slim Fast, Nutrisystem, prescriptions, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers (x 3 different times…that I can remember), gym memberships, low carb, vegetarian, over the counter supplements, Weight Loss Surgery and even more prescriptions.

30 years and as many different programs later here I am, beginning yet another journey towards freedom from my unhealthy relationship with food. I have to accept that I have an unhealthy relationship with food. Am I able to admit that it’s an addiction? I don’t know….but I’m going to journal about it as I work through this devotional.

I sit here writing this post, literally sick to my stomach because I ate too many animal crackers when I got home from work. Why do I do that?! I know it will make me sick, but I do it anyway. So, today is day 1 of the 90 days. Praying for a change and for strength to resist the foods that are making me sick.